ANTi-SOCiAL NETWORKiNG
Step 1: go to http://www.familywatchdog.us/ and enter your address to “find offenders”
Step 2: use the legend on the left hand side of the results page to find the color that corresponds the type of crime you find most titillating/intriguing
Step 3: find a box of that color near your house and click on it
Step 4: write down the culprit’s name and address and get a good look at his portrait
Step 5: lurk stealthily around the culprit’s house or job and discover how he spends his time now that he’s “back on the streets”
(Hint: you can often find out about somebody’s hobbies by rooting through their trash!)
Step 6: once you have enough information to manufacture a believable pretext, approach the culprit and strike up a friendship!